OMV

A crochet pattern for all your fertility needs... meet Venus.

Hoo boy.

A little cush for your tush

This summer let your patio proclaim, "A knitter lives here."

Click to enter The Knitted Chairs project.

From the silver screen to your needles

You may recall last spring when I posted the teeny tiny knitwear by Althea Crome. Well, the BugKnits creator has gone Hollywood - she knitted the sweater and gloves worn by the heroine of Tim Burton's excessively handmade creation, Coraline.

And if you long for a vehicle by which your knitting world and geeky proclivities may cross, here are life-sized patterns to make your own starry sweater and stripey gloves.

Check your gauge

If it's not 3 stitches per yard, you may need to change needle sizes.

P, A, and DQ

J, Kidlet and I had a night on the town with Cate, mWAK and the clan in SLP last night, consisting of dinner at DQ and shopping at OUAC.

D had one taste of the soft serve, and his bottle was history!

On the walk to Once Upon a Child we pass an upscale lighting store. I swear this fixture looks knitted...

But for $1449, I'll work on making my own, thankyouverymuch.

Does this capelet make my boobs look big?

... from SPACE???(Please excuse the poor color photo above - it's my phone camera. Some of us don't have iPhones.)

The Meema Files would like to thank Nicky Epstein's new book, Knitting on Top of the World, for today's contribution to the Just Say No department: The Fair Isle Tam Capelet.

One question, Nicky: what inspired you to put big round platters of colorwork atop your boobies?

"Hey, I have a spare swatch platter - I'll just throw that one on the back like so..."

One last debate?

Oh. My. God.

This is nearly enough to make me finally beef up on crochet:

These amigurumi Obama and McCain finger puppet politicians are downloadable FOR FREE (gotta love that) from Lion Brand Yarns' website.

All laced up

I checked my e-mail this morning and, in one of the kntting newsletters I subscribe to (yeah, I'm a geek, but I embrace it), this caught my eye:

The Dutch design house Demakersvan produced these lace fences. You can see more of their artistically functional work here.

Grrr.

Crochet your piano pretty

Dear Going40 and eWAC,

Hi! How are you two? After seeing the varied offerings at the State Fair, are you still committed to only the knitted arts? Well, this may motivate you to start hooking (no, no that kind):

If you ask Joana Vasconcelos nicely, she may share her piano cozy pattern with you.

Have a good day at school and the office!

Love,
Meema

Boys on the side

Looky what I stumbled across on the internets this evening! If this didn't butch up the visibility of knitting men in the 1970s, I don't know what else could. Who knew the Marlboro man could knit?

This would be a great addition to a knitter's library; the three listings on Amazon right now, however, are asking between $140-$170.

From the website Men Who Knit:

"The best part is the projects chapter: a dog blanket, a beanie, a wall hanging (for your horse’s best-in-show award), a saddle blanket for your horse (knitted circularly with sharpened garden hose and “jumbo” yarn), a slipover (jumper) and a rope hammock (knitted with either shovel handles or pool cues with manila rope)."

And now, a video offering of needle-wielding men. About halfway through there's a gent knitting a hammock out of rope on sharpened billiard cues (a pattern from the book above, I believe).

P.S. Congrats to all the ribbon- and award-winning knitters (women and men) at the Great Minnesota Get-Together!

EZ BSJ +

For those who are fans of all things Zimmermann, look at this phenomenal snowsuit variation by Peggy: I soooo want to knit this! Peggy has benevolently posted the pattern on her blog as a gift to the knitting universe. My stash of Merino 5 is calling me...

Well, bust my stash

... and call me Meema.

Just look at all that yarn! It's probably a lot of acrylic, but very impressive. And what does one do with a flag that large when the festival goes away? I want to know all the crazy details (yardage used, who has to take it home, etc.), so if you read anything about it, let me know.

On a sadder note, George Carlin died yesterday. He's one of the comedians my dad really likes and draws from often; in a strange way George was my sense of humor's great-uncle-in-law, or something. I dunno. The followng is an excerpt from one of Carlin's "social commentary" monologues:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life, not life to years.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Knit with pride

Can you imagine knitting a flag 90 feet long? Certainly not by hand (insert carpal tunnel diagnosis here).

Read this article about a team of machine knitters embarking on this very project today in Providence, RI. Eight colors, ninety feet long - how many yards do you suppose they will use?Take pride in who you are, what you do, and how you live your life.

Cute as a bug

(Betcha you thought this post was about my Kidlet - no, not this time.)

Have you ever contemplated your place in the world? Wondered what it is that you're meant to contribute to better society? If you were considering micro- or nano-knitting, get back to the drawing board; Althea Crome has cornered the market single-handedly. Seriously, I think her entire body of work can fit in one hand.

This sweater is knit to 1:12 scale (think dollhouse):

...as are these gloves.

These sweaters are knit at 1:144 (a dollhouse for a dollhouse):

My eyes hurt just thinking about it.

Yeah, I got your spring right here...

This was my drive into school this morning:

Three inches of heavy, completely wet snow. It was lovely but messy. (Look in the lower right corner of Picture #1 for the "oh sh*t" tire tracks in the snow.)

In other news, Going40 predicted greatness from The Great Minnesota Get-Together - the knitted Sock Monkey dress is now available as a custom couture creation for a mere $1500. Get noticed at your prom this year in a gown as comfortable as your favorite sweats. Please allow eight weeks for delivery.

dress photo by Gene Pittman of King Fisher Photo